Life is better as a list.

( I will be the angel on the shoulder )

Really I'm here to say:

happy birthday to

moonlitwoods!

I was going to make you a Naruto picspam, but it turns out picspamming a fandom you know nothing about is really hard. So instead you get this, which I hope will suffice:

( I see you need me I know you do )

NaNo update: today I broke 30,000 words. I have a feeling my NaNo buddies/nemesisisises want to stab me through the face with a knitting needle.

Friday night Mr B and I got drunk and carved pumpkins. Inspired by the Halloween episode of Castle, we decided to experiment with negative space and do something fancier than the traditional big grinning faces. Mr B spent all day designing his pumpkin in the srs bsns rendering programme he uses to design buildings, then painstakingly copied the design onto his gourd with a Sharpie.

I had a glass of wine before I started, stole a grainy pic from Google images and printed it out to copy. Results under the cut. See if you can guess whose is whose. There are a couple of general autumnal pics too, because what's Monday for if not skiving?

( of mists and mellow fruitlessness )

Anyway, today's our anniversary. We were going to go out for dinner, but I ordered these awesome shoes online yesterday so we're waiting until they arrive :D.

How's everyone's first two days of NaNo? I'm at 5618 words. 10% done. Go me. Slightly worried this is going to turn into a textbook case of peaked too early but we'll see....

There were days, weeks, months, that whole year times when I thought I’d never get there, but I’ve finally posted the last ever chapter of Werewolf. And so, without further ado and with massive apologies to David Thewlis, I cordially invite you to:




( you'll wish you had a river you could skate away on )

So this is it, I guess. Got a burning Werewolf question you always wanted to ask? Like why on earth I called it The Werewolf Who Stole Christmas when that’s a ridiculous title for anything? Or what Remus has on his Dreary Werewolf Music playist? Or what tune is playing there right at the end? This is your chance. Ask away, and if not enjoy the calorie-free virtual snacks and guaranteed no-hangover booze and just say hey :D.

So the other day I did the drabble request meme, and here be the results (including one actual 100 words on the nose drabble):

Oops (Twilight, Jasper/Edward/Carlisle) for train_lindz
The Pumpkin (Twilight, Edward/Bella, with bonus Charlie) for scarlett71177
Breakfast (Being Human, George/Nina) for roh_wyn
Cold, But Nice (Being Human, Mitchell/Annie) for enomis57

And the piece de resistance, 2000 words of crack:

The Outbreak (Merlin/Twilight crossover, Merlin/Edward, with bonus Gaius) for eumelkeks

Another couple of requests tickled my fancy, so I might see if I can get them written tomorrow :D.

Anyway, today Mr B’s driving home from dropping some stuff at his building site new office, and he sees a bunch of blokes on the motorway central reservation in the freezing cold and the rain. As he gets closer, he realises they’re not just some random blokes, they’re working. His mind goes, ‘oh, I wonder if they’re doing community service? Hmmm, I wonder what they had Crazy Guy doing for his – wait, holy crap, that IS Crazy Guy!!’

And there he was. Picking litter. In an orange jump suit. In the rain. Surrounded by ASBO kids.

Apparently he looked thoroughly miserable. Karma is a bitch, Crazy Guy.

And so a poll!

Poll #1477580 Crazy Guy Poll of Dooooooooooom
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 41

In laughing about this I...

Haven’t posted in ages, mostly because I’ve been pressed for time and/or didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t really depressing.

So where have I been? Mostly I’ve been trying to get my novel ready to send off. I believe I may have cracked the synopsis, but that’s not really been the relief I thought it would be, because having reduced a 100,000 word novel to one and a half pages, I now find myself in the position of having to reduce that to a paragraph for the covering letter. Mostly I’ve been shouting JFC WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!? at things and hating everything.

Last night in the supermarket Mr B asked what I wanted for dinner, and I said ‘wine and painkillers’. Part dinner, part suicide attempt. I feel it’s the way forward. A thought that was compounded when, with my mind wandering in the frozen section, I caught a glimpse of a reflection in the glass and thought, ‘those boots are fierce. Ooh, hot legs. Who’s the sexy lady?’. I looked around... only to find that the legs were, in fact, mine. I felt simultaneously awesome for temporarily thinking myself hot, and lame for not recognising my own body parts/footwear.

( no words of wisdom can make me feel better )

Epic entry is epic. Apparently I missed y'all ♥. Back to the covering letter. Don't want to jinx it, but version 150 looks moderately promising....

I think it’s fair to say today has not been the best day.

( pull my ribs apart and let the sun inside )

A poll:

Poll #1462037 Being sociable is for losers
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 40

How should I get out of dinner this Saturday?

Today’s only highlight has been learning that Jacknife Lee produced the new Weezer album, and that my promo copy is currently in the post. FML.

So, having a bad day too? I suggest we all engage the CAPSLOCK and have a whinge-off in the comments. Misery loves company, right?

So I updated Werewolf. It’s been so long since I updated Werewolf that I daresay a whole bunch of you haven’t the faintest idea what I mean, but Werewolf is my epic Remus fic (and the reason I have an LJ). I’ve been writing it since December 2005, it’s almost 270,000 words long, and the last time I looked (accidentally) it had something in the region of 210,000 hits (I reached for the gin). It has its own little ficverse – a couple of interlinked prequels, one novel-length, and a couple of outtakes – has been a massive part of my life, and getting back to it has been really, really strange.

I think the best way to describe my relationship with Werewolf is that it’s like we’re having an affair – on again, off again – sometimes we go so long without seeing each other that we’re overjoyed to meet again and tear at each other enthusiastically, sometimes we hate each other simply for existing, sometimes we’re so consumed with guilt and worry about the thing that we’ve created that we can’t stand to speak. This chapter was definitely the former kind, but the closer I get to finishing it (I’m thinking one more chapter) the more thinky thoughts I get about the whole thing. So I compiled them into a list so I could share them in a moment of spectacular self-involvement:

( things I thought about when I should have been writing Werewolf )

And one that’s so important it gets to sit outside the cut: I owe R/T fandom en masse a really big and expensive drink for immeasurably changing my life ♥.

So those are my thinky thoughts. And since it’s Friday, I thought maybe we could have a little fic therapy. Tell me about your fics – how do you feel about them? Do you have a love/hate relationship or a love/love one? Are you racked with guilt about the ones that get the fewest reviews? Are there some you like to re-read or is it always an angsty experience to look back?

And those of you who’ve written your own epics: how do you say goodbye to something that’s consumed so much of your time and your energy? Will it be as hard as I think it will?

Happy birthday, Jenni!

( Jenni is a friend of mine )

Jenni - you are hilarious and always so much fun. I hope one day we can get drunk and dance on tables together and maybe karaoke Everlong - have a lovely day ♥.

In other news:

( crazy guy, cardiff and werewolf )

Hope everyone is OK ♥.

Happy Birthday Andacus!



( Eric beckons you in to your birthday gifspam )

I hope you have a lovely day, bb. 'Cos you're awesome ♥.

Anyone else have that real Monday feeling today and fancy a meme? Thought I’d resurrect this one because it’s always fun to take piccies and see other people’s, and I’ve lots of new flisters and this is an awesome way to snoop through everyone’s sock drawer get to know people. So:

List up to three (3) things you would like me to take pictures of. Once I've gathered up all the requests, I'll make a post with the pictures I managed to take.

I’m not tagging anyone specifically, but if you have a camera consider yourself tagged. You know you want to do it :D.

( life, Bracknell version, in trendy list form )

Hope y'all are doing OK ♥.

Hey train_lindz, it's your birthday!

I'm really sorry that I didn't have time to do something less lame - these last weeks have been totally crazy, and apparently my fail as a human is bottomless. In November I promise to buy you mucho beer to make up for it. And maybe I'll get you cake and a Mountie!stripper.

I hope you have a really great day, because you deserve no less ♥. So:

(Gifty)

Just got word from the court: Crazy Guy got found guilty.

They're not going to sentence him until August 14th (because they ran out of time, and it's a complicated case and that's when that particular set of magistrates are next sitting), and so for now he's out on bail, but the magistrates told him that if he comes anywhere near us, it's straight to prison and come the 14th he gets the maximum sentence. On that date they'll define the exact parameters of the restraining order, and either fine him or give him a custodial sentence. Apparently they were leaning towards giving him 6 to 12 weeks in prison, but our barrister thinks they'll cool off and go with a fine and a psychiatric treatment order (which is the only thing we've really wanted all along, so fingers crossed that actually happens).

The CPS barrister was great. Cheesecake!Steve (who testified in the morning and then stayed to watch Crazy Guy in the dock) said it was like watching someone pull the legs off a spider. Every time he asked a question CG would go into a big, insane ramble, and he got really aggressive and told the court that they didn't know what the definition of harrassment was - the barrister just left him to tie himself in knots and prove what he's really like.

In the verdict they said that they found Mr B, Cheesecake!Steve and I to be honest, reliable and coherent, and Crazy Guy to be unreliable and a person prone to bursting into fits of violent rage, and that it was an obvious verdict.

To be honest I would feel much better if he was actually undergoing treatment or in prison right now, because I'm not entirely sure how seriously he'll take being on bail (again) and we just found out that two months ago he got convicted of common assault (we think maybe on his dad), but at least now he's been convicted any breach of his bail is taken immensely seriously.

More waiting, I guess. But I might have a beer anyway if anyone would like to join me :D.

Hey everyone.

Just a fly-by posting to say we just got in from court. Was not my best day ever. Have opened wine.

( cut because of inevitable ramble )

So that was my day.

While I was waiting, I thought of you guys and your support a lot. And this isn't really the right time or place to properly say thank you, but honestly at times, the only thing that kept me going was the thought that there were people rooting for me.

xxx

Keep meaning to update but running out of that time stuff. So, my life, in handy list form:

- In court this week for the Crazy Guy case. Finally managed to find something to wear, courtesy of the goddess Betty Jackson: this dress. Also had my hair dyed a sensible colour, and bought Mr B a blue tie with flowers on, so I think we look the very definition of unthreatening. Although with my sensible hair and my plain black dress, I do feel like an extra from Witness. Will be wearing lime green underwear underneath to compensate. Now I need to learn all the dates of all the incidents and prepare – there are 28 in total, spanning nearly a year, hence absence from LJ this week while I swot.

- Saw HBP. Liked it a lot, although it made me really nostalgic for the days before DH, when we were all excitedly trying to figure out what would happen next. I miss that like whoa.

( apparently my list is a little tl;dr )

Anyway, that's me. I'll be here but not really most of the week, so I'll leave you with this, dedicated to anyone with swine flu:

Seems like I haven’t updated in ages....

( crazy guy update )

Anyway, more pleasant things. loveweasleys04 tagged me for this meme, and who can resist?

1) List 5 celebrities you would have sex with without even asking questions.
2) Put them IN ORDER of your lust for them [5 - 1, 1 is the hottest].
3) Supply photos for said people.
4) Say which movie/show/thing it was that hooked you.
5) Tag five people.

I tag: mrstater, duck_or_rabbit, train_lindz (when she gets back), hrymfaxe aaand pamoreno. And anyone who fancies spreading a little hotness.

( I wonder who'll be number one? )

Anyone else watching the Murray/Roddick match online right now? COME ON ANDY!!!

Happy 4th of July to those of you celebrating being shot of us this weekend ;).

I may very well be scraping the underside of the blogging barrel here, but my new toaster, let me show you it:

( not as retro as I wanted, but the other one was £130... )

Is pretty, no?

Also (incongruously) have Crazy Guy news. He's been charged and he's going to court on Friday (just to enter his plea). He was here again last night even after he was charged, so the police are going to ask that he be remanded in custody. Will know more next week, so... I feel weird asking people to keep their fingers crossed that a man's liberty gets taken away but... if you have free fingers I'd appreciate it. Me and my new toaster would like some peace.

Anyway, happier things - moonlitwoods tagged me for this fiendishly psychologically revealing meme:

Make a list of five questions you wish someone would ask you about yourself. If someone comments to your post and officially asks the question, you must answer. Tag ten people to do the meme.

Mine:

1 Why do you like music as much as you do?
2 If you never achieve any writing success in the real world, will you still do it?
3 If you could choose to be reincarnated as any animal, which would you pick?
4 In real life, are you like you are online?
5 What has been your biggest fandom disappointment?

I tag: moonlitwoods (hah!), eumelkeks, lillbet, gilpin25, calyndra, mrstater, enomis57, javidan, jenni_cn, & enamors.

And for your time this, because gun to my head and really make me choose, Bell X1 are my favourite band. I have epic, epic love for this song, and the video is far too wicked not to share:

Have learnt lots of things this week, mostly that I hate being sick, people can’t follow basic instructions, and I need a new toaster (should I get a retro red one to match my fridge and my radio or go with chrome? Decisions, decisions).

Anyway, whoop, it’s Friday, and we haven’t had Friday fun here for ages. So I thought I’d steal this meme from moonlitwoods - lots of new flisters and I thought this might be a good way to get to know each other, and those of you who already know me are sure to come up with something entertaining. So:

The problem with LiveJournal is that we think we're close, but really, we know nothing about each other.

So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me, something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about, or something you've always been curious about but have never asked, or something completely silly that you'd like me to answer for kicks. No limits on the range of questions, either; ask me anything you want to know about, whether it's a fannish opinion or a question about a fic of mine or trivia about my real life or my thoughts on events in the offline world.

I’m prepared to talk about pretty much anything - even ask advice or for a music rec or something if you want - and I have left this post public, so if you want to ask something you don’t want to own up to asking like ‘OMG is it true that British people eat squirrel and don’t shave their armpits?’ you can comment anonymously and save yourself the shame.

Also for any interested parties, I wrote Edward/Bella fic - The Space Between Two Kisses. Kind of fun to write them again.

Anyone have fun weekend plans? I’m going to try and drag my sorry carcass to the cinema and see Terminator Salvation or The Hangover. And they have a Mystery Movie showing... will it be Harry Potter..? Should I go just in case?

It's Monday, and so I eschew full paragraphs in favour of the trusty list:

- am done with my family. Saw them last week and my mum got really drunk and pulled a Christian Bale. Don't recall all the details, but I do remember shouting that she was 'infested with cynicism'. Or possibly infected with cynicism. Can't remember. Red mist. Either way it amuses me that after everything, it was her lack of positivity that eventually cracked me. What a hippie.

- anyone ever done Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred? After massive amounts of yoga fail I was looking for a quick and dirty ab workout, chanced on that and OMG. I actually think she might kill me. Please tell me it's possible to make it to day 30? Upside, 8 days in and my shoulders look a-maz-ing. So at least I’ll be a pretty corpse.

- saw Star Trek at the weekend and enjoyed it, especially Leonard Nimoy and Simon Pegg. I liked their sneaky move into AU, and secretly I suspect that what we’re seeing on screen is JJ Abrams’s Trek fic.

- anyone see Little Ashes yet?

- related but not, I’m all over the rumour that Kristen Stewart may have signed up for a zombie movie. And you should all come and join jadeddiva's brilliant creation, bringitzombies. For one day, we will blog like the apocalypse is nigh. There is no way this will not be epic. BYO brains/weapons.

- and a random poll to finish on:

Poll #1398140 Stupid Monday Poll of Randomness
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 51

When it comes to someone expressing their liking for your appearance, you would rather be called:

Having a good Monday?

Things that made me happy today:

- toast
- Gorecki
- making it to day 8 on this meme

And for you, The Hidden Cameras. I always play this song when I need to be reminded that I do, indeed, believe in the good of life. Has some of my favourite lyrics ever and a really fabulous video.



How To Enjoy:

- improvise some kind of tambourine with paperclips in a mug
- shake along
- sway gently from side to side
- wait for the huh huh huhs at the end and join in

And a random poll to finish on:

Poll #1391856 French kissing in the UK
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 39

When you kiss do you:

Can I go back to my dreary werewolf music and posting once a week now?

O~ O~ O~

Things that made me happy today:

- took a paragraph out of a chapter and it instantly fixed everything I hated about the whole thing
- red apples
- skiving off this afternoon for a hot chocolate
- coming back to find train_lindz and enomis57 had decided Breaking Dawn should be a musical. This idea is genius. Suggestions for what Edward should sing in the birth scene in the comments, plz.
- am downloading a new episode of The Mentalist, which I am OMGsoaddicted to.

How have I gone so long on this meme without playing you any Ryan Adams? Everybody needs Ryan in their life. I have a staggering Ryan Adams dependency problem. I actually can’t get through a day without him, and for my money, he’s the only singer-songwriter today who holds his own with the greats. I could listen to him all day. Sometimes I do. Asking me to pick a favourite Ryan Adams song is like asking me to pick a favourite internal organ. I need them all in different ways. This one is always on my list of songs I wish everyone had in their collection, though. It just kills me.



How To Enjoy:
- on headphones
- while lying on the floor
- with your eyes closed
- wishing you were his girlfriend and he wrote this about you

( want more Ryan? Obviously I couldn't pick just one )

Tell me, fellow Ryan fans. What's your favourite? Can you even narrow it down to 3?